Party Wagon
by Oxenstierna D. Yuki-Rin
Summary: Weldon A. Bartlett was content with living a quiet life on a quiet island; his best friend, Reno Tomlinson-Keough, thinks otherwise. Now thrust into an adventure he didn't want to go on, Weldon will discover that the world is a terrifying, yet beautiful, place. T for violence, swearing, and for being the most comedic fic in the "In Argo" series.
1. The Party Begins

**Author's Note: **Merry Christmas, everyone!

So, you may or may not know that the first fic in the **In Argo **series, **Parallel Works**, ended about two weeks ago. So, it was time to start a new fic in the series. I figured, "Prequel's done, time to work on one of the two sequels."

Yes, I said that there are two sequels to **In Argo - **This fic and **Merry Pranksters**, with the latter focusing on the Libras, and this fic focusing on some new OCs I'm making.

Oh, and here's the order that you should read the fics - **Parallel Works, In Argo, Party Wagon (this fic), Merry Pranksters.**

So, welcome to **Party Wagon**, the third fic in the **In Argo **series. Let's get this party started.

**Disclaimer: One Piece is the property of Eichiiro Oda. Please support the official release.**

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><p><strong>Mariejois<br>Sixty-five years after Monkey D. Luffy's execution**

A pink-haired girl put her hands in the pockets of her jeans as she walked down the fancy hallway. Her outfit was too casual for a fancy place like this - A grey, V-neck T-shirt, black skinny jeans, red sneakers, and a white beanie hat. But, she had a purpose for being here.

Eventually, the girl made it to a large meeting room, where a man with blonde hair in a ponytail sat. He wore a white dress shirt under a brown waistcoat, black dress pants, and brown boots fastened with gold buckles.

"Isabella."

"Linus," Isabella said as she sat down across from Linus. "How are things?"

"Fine," Linus answered with a pithy shrug. "But, it is kind of weird running the same assassins' guild your sister led. How's your crew doing?"

"Alright," Isabella said. "The Capricorn Pirates closed down the Goa Kingdom Orphanage and Settlement House, so Seven's had to take in the teenage orphans."

"But, he's a Yonkou. His schedule wouldn't allow that," Linus pointed out.

"Who said that the Yonkou even has a schedule?"

A tall, brown-haired man with dao swords attached to his back stepped into the room and took a seat next to Isabella. He wore a blue suit under a long, brown coat, a red tie, and white, high-top shoes.

"Beal! It's been a while! How are the Aries Pirates?!" Isabella asked the newcomer.

"Doing alright," Beal said. "Terrance is still trying to one-up Linus."

"I heard. If he wanted my spot so badly, all he had to do was ask," Linus said.

"Are we missing something?"

A handsome, dark-haired man with a Russian accent entered the room, followed by a man with tanned skin and a bullfighter outfit.

"Roberto, Nikolai, welcome. So good of you to join after missing one meeting," Beal said as Nikolai - the Russian man - and Roberto - the bullfighter - sat down.

"Shenhua and Ethel are late. It's not like Ethel to be this late," Roberto observed. In response, a purple-haired man about twenty years old, a pink-haired man in the Fleet Admiral coat, and a woman with long, wavy, black hair entered and stood in front of the table. Immediately, Linus, Isabella, Nikolai, and Roberto stood up.

"Good morning, Fleet Admiral Coby," The four Shichibukai greeted the Fleet Admiral.

"Before we begin, I have some sad news," Coby said. "Ethel 'Grandma Ethel' Makioka has passed away in her sleep last night. Starting right now, there will be a moment of silence in honor of Ethel."

The room grew quiet. While Ethel Makioka was a badass in her ninety-five years of life, she was also the stereotypically sweet grandma who sewed the Shichibukai sweaters and brought oatmeal cookies to the meetings. Her presence was going to be missed, and her replacement would most likely be somebody worse than her.

"You may be seated."

The four Shichibukai sat down.

"Now, due to Ethel's passing, we have called in Nathan 'Bishop of the Desert' Vu Jr. to fill the vacant spot Ethel left," Coby explained, motioning to the purple-haired man to his left.

"How were you able to find a replacement this quickly if Ethel died last night?" Nikolai asked as he lit a cigarette.

"We picked him based on his connections. His younger cousin, Cima Vu, has ties to Revolutionary Army," Coby explained.

"Why would you pick a cousin to a Revolutionary if you hate them?" Isabella asked. Nathan glared at Isabella.

"Because my presence is meant to nip any problems in the bud before they occur," Nathan said darkly. Isabella glowered at the newcomer; she could tell that Nathan Vu Jr. was going to be a nasty piece of work.

"And, as you know, Shenhua 'The Dragon Lady' Jiang has had her Shichibukai status revoked last week for declaring war on the Goa Kingdom. We have brought in Shiva 'The Sublime' Talus-Goldstein as her replacement," Coby explained.

"War? That's nonsense!" Beal remarked as Shiva took her seat next to her. "She's got an entire army of prostitutes! What are they going to do?! Make everyone into sex slaves so there would be no official war?!"

"Mr. Myles, that is enough!" Coby yelled. "This is a serious situation! The Dragon Lady is also known for her torture and murder techniques, so if this declaration of war comes to fruition, then the Goa Kingdom is in big trouble."

"Why did she declare war on the Goa Kingdom? Nothing happened there for her to declare war," Shiva asked as she idly filed her nails.

"Because she wants land," Coby answered. "Her biggest and most infamous brothel, the House of Capricorn, is located in Goa City. If the Goa Kingdom falls to the Dragon Lady, then we are facing a serious threat to world security and stability. Are there any questions?"

Roberto raised his hand.

"Why can't we just send an extra fleet over to the Goa Kingdom?" Roberto asked.

"We have sent over a fleet from Syrup Village to aid the fleet from Goa Kingdom. Should the situation get worse, we will bring in Marines stationed at G8, Marineford, and Mariejois to take care of the situation," Coby explained. Isabella raised her hand. "Question?"

"What do we do if there are collaborators to the Dragon Lady?" Isabella asked.

"We knock them out early," Linus answered. "Easy and simple."

"Does the Dragon Lady know that her status as Shichibukai has been revoked?" Nikolai asked, taking a long drag off of his cigarette.

"That's the problem," Coby answered. "The Dragon Lady either doesn't know this, or knows this and chooses not to accept it as a fact. This could prove to be very problematic within the coming weeks."

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><p><strong>Ending Note: <strong>We'll meet our protagonists in the next chapter!

**Forgot to mention - This is going to be the most comedic fic in the series, since the protagonists are two best friends who are basically the "Funny Guy, Straight Man" comedic routine.**


	2. Take me Away to the Dark Side

**Author's Note: **Without further ado, let's meet our protagonists!

**Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own One Piece.**

* * *

><p>"<em>Lady, running down to the riptide<br>Take me away to the dark side, I wanna be your left-hand man_." - **Vance Joy, _Riptide_**

* * *

><p><strong>Fuchsia Village, Goa Kingdom<br>One Week Later**

Weldon A. Bartlett was a normal, unremarkable, eighteen-year old boy - Neatly-combed, black hair, blue eyes, and glasses with thick, black frames. He lived with his dad, as his mother was a famous photojournalist who travelled the world for 360 days a year. His dad was an architect working for the Mondrian Architecture and Shipwright Company, and father and son lived comfortably.

His best friend, Reno Tomlinson-Keough, was the exact opposite - A boy with honey-blonde hair, hazel eyes, and a tall figure. Unlike Weldon, who came from humble beginnings, Reno was a trust-fund kid who was born into wealth. He was the funny guy to Weldon's straight guy, and he was a lot more adventurous and stubborn than his cautious, level-headed friend.

One day, the two friends were eating lunch at Party's Bar, where luminaries such as Monkey D. Luffy and "Red-Haired" Shanks ate when they were alive. Now, it was just a normal restaurant with normal patrons.

"Ne, Weldon, what do you think of going on a pirate voyage?" Reno asked. As he sipped his coffee, Weldon raised an eyebrow.

"A pirate voyage?" Weldon asked. "What drugs are you on?"

"Okay, one, stop assuming I do drugs all the time," Reno said. "Two, it will be fun. Our lives are boring enough as it is. Especially your life."

"Shut up," Weldon said. "And besides, your parents probably don't want to lose their only child because they want the family business to stay afloat."

Reno scoffed.

"Oh, please. They run a paper company. Paper! They based the show The Workplace after the company my parents run!" Reno yelled. "How the fuck is running a paper manufacturing and distribution company supposed to be my contribution to society?"

Weldon blinked behind his glasses.

"You make paper, you sell it to people who need paper, and you make a profit," Weldon slowly explained.

"But that sounds boring, so I want to leave and become a pirate," Reno said. "You have twenty-four hours to make your decision. Should you decide to stay behind, I'm leaving you behind."

* * *

><p>When Weldon got home, an empty house greeted him. This was unsurprising to Weldon, since his dad tended to work long hours or be late getting a ferry home from Goa City. The note his dad left, however, was surprising.<p>

**Weldon,**

**Something came up at work today, and I have been asked to leave. I don't know if you know this, but the Dragon Lady declared war on us. There is a dangerous war coming to the Goa Kingdom, and Fuschia Village isn't going to be very safe if and when the war comes. For the time being, several of my co-workers and I have been asked to move to our Lougetown offices until further notice.**

**One way or another, you need to get out of the Goa Kingdom. If you want, you can join me in Lougetown. I understand if you can't make it to Lougetown, but please get out of Goa Kingdom as soon as you can. I love you, and I hope you stay safe.**

**Love,**

**Your father**

Weldon walked over to the DenDen Mushi in the corner, and dialed a number. As dial tones sounded on the other line, Weldon remembered a phrase he once heard - "Nothing ventured, nothing gained". If Weldon didn't make this venture, there would be nothing to gain.

"_Hello?_"

"Reno, I'm coming with you. We're going to be pirates."

* * *

><p>The next thing Weldon knew, both he and Reno were in a non-descript motel room in Goa City, watching a cheesy infomercial for a product geared toward broke pirates who spent months at sea.<p>

"So, we're not sailing out tonight?" Weldon asked.

"I know a guy who can hook us up with a ship. We'll go and talk to him tomorrow after breakfast," Reno answered. "Word on the street is that he works for Kartik Abingdon."

"Kartik Abingdon?" Weldon asked.

"Yep. The famous shipwright. He's so rich and pretentious, that there's a popular saying that goes 'Kartik Abingdon has a stick shoved so far up his ass, it sticks out of his mouth'," Reno explained with a chuckle. "If we do meet Kartik, don't repeat that joke."

"Why would I when we're trying to get a ship from his company?" Weldon asked as the man in the infomercial said something along the lines of 'You're gonna love my nuts'. In response to the line spoken on the television, Reno laughed.

"Oh, don't worry about that. Worry about not getting a ship," Reno explained.

"I have good reason to worry. You know that my dad had to flee the Goa Kingdom today because there's a war coming, right?" Weldon asked.

"War? What war?" Reno asked. Weldon sighed in annoyance.

"You did not think this through, didn't you?" Weldon asked.

"This war is irrelevant. What's relevant is our own interests," Reno explained.

"What if your parents die in the war, though?" Weldon asked.

"Then I'll sell the paper company and live off of my residual checks," Reno said with a shrug.

"Those are for actors and musicians," Weldon pointed out.

"Yeah, so? It was my parents' company that was the subject of The Workplace," Reno said. "Speaking of which, a three-episode marathon of The Workplace is about to start. Want to watch it?"

"I think I'm going to go to sleep," Weldon said.

"But it's the episode where they go on the business trip to -" Reno said before Weldon threw a pillow at his head.

"Go to sleep! We have a big day tomorrow!" Weldon yelled, turing over onto his side with his back facing Reno.

"What if I can't sleep all night long because I'm so excited to go to the Grand Line?" Reno asked.

"Then it's your problem, not mine," Weldon said as he shut off the light next to his bed. "Good night! Sleep tight! Don't let the bedbugs bite!"

As Weldon closed his eyes, Reno stopped talking. For what seemed like several minutes, the room was silent for the first time since the two entered the motel room several hours ago.

"Hey, Weldon, are we going to meet any famous pirates on our voyage?"

Weldon then threw another pillow at Reno.

"Shut up! People are trying to sleep here!" Weldon yelled.

* * *

><p><strong>The Workplace - <strong>Supposed to be this fic's equivalent to the show The Office.

**The infomercial Weldon and Reno watch - **Yep, it's the Slap Chop infomercial. The mention of the line "You're gonna love my nuts" probably gave it away.

**Reno and Weldon's voyage officially starts in the next chapter! Review if you want to see them set sail!**


	3. Let's Get Drunk and Steal a Ship!

**Author's Note: **And so, Reno and Weldon begin their voyage in the best way ever - By getting drunk, breaking into people's houses, and stealing things.

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece.**

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><p>"Get up, Weldon! It's a big, big, big day!"<p>

The next morning, Weldon awoke to Reno shouting and hitting him with a pillow.

"Stop hitting me!" Weldon yelled, shielding himself from Reno's blows. With a pout, Reno stopped hitting Weldon with the pillow.

"Somebody didn't get a good night sleep," Reno said.

"I slept like a baby. Motel 9 does a bang-up job with their beds," Weldon explained sardonically.

"Yep," Reno said. "Want breakfast?"

"You just want to get the ship already," Weldon observed.

"Yes, but where is the lie?" Reno asked. Weldon remained silent. "If you hurry up and get dressed now, maybe they'll still have waffles out in the lobby for breakfast."

* * *

><p>About an hour later, Reno and Weldon arrived at the offices of the East Blue Shipwright Company, a large shipyard with a grand, central office building.<p>

"You weren't kidding when you said that Kartik Abingdon had a stick up his ass," Weldon said as he observed the office building towering above him.

"Weldon, how many times do I have to tell you that Kartik Abingdon doesn't own this place? He's a shipwright. Get your shit together," Reno explained.

"So, are we seeing Kartik or not? Because the more we bring him up, the less I want to see him," Weldon explained.

"Would he see two, teenage boys like us? Hell no. He caters to a high-class clientele," Reno explained as they walked up the front steps of the office building. "We're going to see my guy."

"_'My guy'? Is he gay?_" Weldon thought to himself as Reno approached a DenDen Mushi intercom in front of them.

"_Good morning. Who are you here to see?_"

"Oi, Clinton! Get the fuck out here! I told you I was coming in today to get your ship!" Reno yelled into the intercom.

"_...You mean Clinton Rhee?_"

"Of course!" Reno yelled into the intercom.

"_He will be down in a minute_."

Reno then fist-pumped.

"We got Clinton!" Reno said with a grin.

"Clinton? Is he your guy?" Weldon asked.

"Clinton and I go way back. We ate glue together in kindergarten," Reno answered.

"_That probably explains why you are a nutcase_," Weldon thought to himself.

"Reno, my man! What's up?!"

A muscular, nineteen-year old boy with blonde, spiky hair and blue eyes exited the offices. He wore a dark-blue tank top with a skull on it, black jeans, and black combat boots. He also had several piercings - Both of his ears were pierced, his left eyebrow was pierced, and his nose was pierced.

"Clinton! What's up, man?!" Reno yelled as he high-fived the pierced teen. "Weldon A. Bartlett, meet Clinton Rhee. Clinton Rhee, meet Weldon A. Bartlett."

"Nice to meet you!" Clinton yelled to Weldon. "What does the 'A' stand for?"

"The 'A' is short for 'Actis'," Weldon answered.

"'Actis'? The fuck kind of name is 'Actis'?" Clinton asked.

"It was my grandfather's name," Weldon answered. "I don't suppose you have an embarrassing middle name, too."

"I'm an orphan. They never gave me a middle name," Clinton said with an apathetic shrug. Reno cleared his throat.

"Are we going to stand around discussing Weldon's nerdy middle name all day, or are we going to get our ship?" Reno asked everyone.

"He's eager to get the ship and get out of here," Weldon explained.

"Well, once you get the ship, you can't get out of here just yet," Clinton explained. "Kartik, my supervisor, is supposed to sign off on the papers."

"Why?!" Reno yelled.

"Legal reasons," Clinton said with an apathetic shrug. 'The bad news is that Kartik is not in today. He said something about forming a resistance should Goa City fall to the Dragon Lady and her crew in this upcoming war."

"That's bullshit!" Reno yelled.

"Wouldn't Kartik get fired for doing stuff like this?" Weldon asked.

"How should I know? He runs this branch of the East Blue Shipwright Company, so he's his own boss," Clinton explained.

"He's the boss of this place?!" Weldon and Reno yelled.

"What are we going to do, man?! Kartik Abingdon screwed us over!" Reno yelled.

"I have an idea, but it means that we may get arrested for breaking and entering," Clinton suggested.

"'Breaking and entering' is my favorite word," Reno said.

"Breaking and entering? Seriously?!" Weldon cried.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, Clinton, Reno, and Weldon were walking through a well-kept, upper-class neighborhood with several, pristine mansions.<p>

"Yeah, this isn't a good idea," Weldon said.

"It's always a good idea to screw snobby, rich people over," Reno argued as they approached a large, elegant, white mansion. Outside, a purple-haired boy with glasses was making-out with a girl with long-orange hair. At the sight of the two teenagers, Weldon grimaced.

"Get a room," Reno said to himself.

"Yeah, I can't do this," Weldon said.

"Why not, Weldon? Is that your girlfriend?" Reno asked.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Weldon yelled. "She's Henrietta Mondrian, the daughter of my dad's boss! If Henrietta and her boyfriend catch us doing this, we're screwed!"

"Then, I guess we're going with Plan B," Clinton said. "You two can be the lookouts. If something happens, run like hell back to the shipyards and wait for me."

Clinton then walked up two the two teenagers. From Weldon and Reno's vantage point, they couldn't hear what Clinton was saying, but they could only make out the words "Kartik's resistance cell". After a minute, the purple-haired boy let Clinton into the mansion.

"Clinton Rhee sure has a way with words..." Reno said to himself.

"If we get arrested, I'm blaming Clinton," Weldon said. Henrietta and the boy she was previously making-out with turned to Weldon and Reno.

"Shit. We've been had, " Reno said. "Time for Plan C."

"Does it involve running away from our problems?" Weldon said, arching an eyebrow in mockery.

"Nope. Just play along with me," Reno said before he grabbed Weldon by the hand and walked up to the front steps the couple were standing on.

"Who are you people? Are you part of my dad's resistance cell?" The boy asked.

"Good morning. Have you heard the good news from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?" Reno asked the couple, who sweatdropped.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" Henrietta asked, pointing to Weldon. Inwardly, Weldon began to panic. "Because you look familiar."

"No, I don't," Weldon said quickly and nervously. "I don't know either of you."

Henrietta turned to her boyfriend.

"Rhett, who are these people?" Henrietta asked her boyfriend.

"We're missionaries. Do you have time to talk about the good news?" Reno asked. Weldon facepalmed.

"_Reno, please stop,_" Weldon thought to himself.

"No, thank you. Dad is too much of a libertine to go to church," Rhett answered. Reno turned to Weldon.

"Weldon, what's a libertine?" Reno asked. Weldon shook his head in shame.

"Go look it up in a dictionary," Weldon said.

"Weldon? I think I know -" Henrietta said before a window behind the four shattered.

"Reno, Weldon, we have to get out of here!"

Clinton then climbed out of the broken window, carrying several papers in his hand.

"Why? What happened?" Reno asked.

"Kartik wouldn't sign off on the papers, so I broke into his office and forged his signature on the papers. Now, he's got his entire resistance chasing after us," Clinton explained. Reno said nothing as he ran up to Henrietta and kissed her on the cheek. In response, Rhett slapped Reno in the face.

"I will see you around, Miss Henrietta. I'm afraid my missionary ship leaves for the Grand Line right now," Reno said before Weldon grabbed him by the collar and dragged him off. Rhett and Henrietta sweatdropped.

"I don't know who those people are, and I think I'm going to call the police on them," Rhett said slowly.

* * *

><p>With Clinton, Reno, and Weldon, they had managed to get back to the shipyard, and they were now standing before a smaller-sized pirate ship with light-colored wood.<p>

"Welcome to the Hyderabad. This is your ship," Clinton said, gesturing to the ship.

"Dude, it's amazeballs!" Reno yelled.

"Glad you like it," Clinton said.

"Even though we broke the law in the process to get this ship," Weldon said under his breath.

"Here, I snuck a bottle of wine from the wine cellar in Kartik's mansion," Clinton said, holding out a bottle of wine. "When a ship first sets sail, you're supposed to break a bottle of alcohol on the bow of the ship. If the bottle doesn't break, then the ship is cursed with bad luck."

Clinton held the bottle of wine out to Reno.

"Would you like to do the honors?" Clinton asked.

"I'm good. I'll let Weldon do the honors," Reno said.

"Why?" Weldon asked as Clinton handed him the bottle of wine.

"Because the captain doesn't have to do it, and neither does the shipwright," Reno explained. "Now, are you going to break that bottle or what? We don't have all day."

"I'll do it," Weldon said as he took a step toward the bow. In one, fluid motion, Weldon hit the bottle of wine against the bow of the Hyderabad, but the bottle didn't break. Taking a deep breath, Weldon hit the bottle of wine against the bow a second time, but the bottle still didn't break.

"You're weak sauce, Welly. Sit back and let a pro do it," Reno said as he took the bottle away from Weldon. With a hard swing, Reno hit the bottle against the Hyderabad's bow, but it still didn't break. "Clinton?! The fuck, man?! It's not breaking!"

"Yeah. We're going to have some bad luck," Weldon said under his breath.

"I told you that it was expensive wine. Maybe they bottle their fancy-ass wine in glasses that don't break," Clinton said with a shrug. "You can keep it, if you want."

"Sweet! We're going to get so drunk!" Reno yelled. "You wanna come with us and get drunk? It'll be fun."

"I can't come with you at the moment. I have to visit my cousin, Im-Jin, at Cocoyashi Village. However, I can meet up with you guys there," Clinton explained.

"I thought you were an orphan with no family," Weldon pointed out.

"Im-Jin is from a poor family and has six siblings. They couldn't take me in," Clinton argued.

"I'm sorry about your family situation, man, but I hope you have fun visiting your cousins," Reno said.

"No hard feelings. I'll see you two in Cocoyashi," Clinton said.

* * *

><p>That night, as Weldon set up the Hyderabad, Reno got drunk on the bottle of wine Clinton stole.<p>

"Hey, Welcome, we need some art shit in this bitch!" Reno slurred.

"Okay, we'll get an artist on our crew," Weldon answered as he put plates and dishes away in the kitchen cabinets.

"Hey, where are we going? Don't we need a map or something? I don't know. Maybe Rhett and Henrietta and Clinton and Kartik know," Reno slurred before he took another swig of wine straight from the bottle.

"Fine. We'll get a navigator, too," Weldon said. "Comstock Island is our next destination, so we should get there tomorrow or so."

Reno didn't respond.

"Reno?"

Weldon turned back, and he saw Reno passed out on the couch, the half-empty bottle of wine in his hands. Weldon just sighed in response.

"He's going to be sore in the morning..." Weldon said to himself.

* * *

><p><strong>Libertine - <strong>It means "A sexually unrestrained person" or "A religious free-thinker".

**The Hyderabad - **It's named for a city in India.

**And so, Weldon and Reno's voyage has begun!**


	4. Charlotte's Web

**Author's Note: **If you're wondering about my other fics - I've got writers' block on both **Sweet Disposition **and **The DysFUNctional Pirates**, I'm working on the next chapter of **In Argo, **and I'm starting to work on the next chapter for this fic.

Other than that, let's begin!

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece.**

* * *

><p>"Oh, my God! I'm so fucking hungover!"<p>

Reno did not awake from his drunken sleep until the next afternoon. Upon waking, Reno promptly drank the rest of the wine left in his bottle.

"You're going to have a drinking problem if you keep this up," Weldon pointed out as Reno drank the last few sips of wine.

"Drinking problem, shrinking problem. If adults can get drunk, why can't I?" Reno pointed out. "Also, I'm hungry as fuck. Can you make breakfast?"

"It's five o'clock at night," Weldon pointed out.

"Then we'll just go out and have breakfast for dinner," Reno said.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, Reno and Weldon made their way through the streets of Comstock Island, looking for a place to eat among all of the multi-storied resort casinos in the downtown sector of town.<p>

"How do these casinos not have all-night diners? That's a damn shame," Reno asked.

"How about we just get a pizza? We can get diner food tomorrow morning," Weldon said, motioning to a pizza restaurant behind him. Reno rubbed his temples; his head still ached, and he wanted to throw up.

"If it means this hangover goes away, then by all means, let's buy a pizza," Reno answered. As soon as they entered the loud, packed restaurant, Reno winced in pain, ran outside, and threw up into the nearest trash can. After a few seconds, Reno came back into the restaurant.

"You okay?" Weldon asked.

"Fuck no, I'm not. This place is making my hangover worse," Reno said. Weldon sighed, trying to think of a way to distract his friend from his hangover.

"Should we get any new crewmembers here?" Weldon asked as they sat down at the only available seats at the packed restaurant.

"Hmmm..." Reno said to himself, scanning the room for anybody strong. His eyes then came upon a tall, teenage girl with brown hair in a ponytail and brown eyes. She wore a black T-shirt with white sleeves that went to her elbows, dark-blue skinny jeans, and black combat boots. She held a naginata spear behind her back, trying to conceal it from the rest of the bar. But, the spear only caught Reno's attention, and he pointed to her. "I want her. Spear girl looks hot."

"She also looks like she could kill you with that spear for saying that," Weldon argued.

"Then I'll just run like a little bitch if that happens," Reno explained. However, neither of them noticed that a drunken pirate was groping spear girl's chest, which led her to stab him with the spear.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" The girl shouted, getting the attention of everyone in the bar. "You don't go and touch girls' boobs! Why do sick perverts get away with this shit?!"

"Because my friend thinks you're hot!" The pirate who got stabbed yelled as the rest of his crew approached the girl.

"I'm guessing you're his crew, right? Can you tell this man that he has no social skills and should be locked up for groping girls?" The girl asked.

"Oi! Shut up! Did your mother raise you right?!" One of the pirates yelled. In the back of the restaurant, Reno and Weldon slowly got up.

"I'm going to go help her," Weldon said, walking over to the scene of the commotion, with Reno following suit.

"Of course, she did! My family's fucking rich, so they had to teach me and my sister manners and all of that useless shit!" The girl yelled. Before she said anything else, Weldon stepped in-between the two patrons who were arguing.

"Who are you?! Her chaperone?!" The pirate asked. Weldon responded by punching the pirate in the face.

"Run!" Weldon yelled,. Following Weldon's cue, Reno and the girl with the spear followed suit, running out of the bar while the mob was distracted. After a few minutes of running, the three arrived at the docks, where the Hyderabad was waiting.

"Man, that was close," Reno said, panting for breath. The girl responded by slapping Reno and Weldon.

"What's your deal? I could've handled those guys alone," The girl asked.

"You were outnumbered, so we came to save you," Weldon explained. "My name is Weldon A. Bartlett, and this is my friend, Reno Tomlinson-Keough."

"At your service," Reno introduced himself.

"What does the 'A' stand for?" The girl asked.

"The 'A' is short for 'Actis'," Weldon answered. The girl remained silent. "It was my grandpa's name."

"So, what's your name?" Reno asked. The girl crossed her arms.

"Sounds like you've got some ulterior motives," The girl explained.

"No, no. I just want to know what your name is," Reno said. The girl sighed.

"If you must," The girl said. "My name is Charlotte. Charlotte Emerson-Amboy."

"Charlotte. What a great name," Reno said to himself.

"What's with him? Is he with those perverts?" Charlotte asked Weldon.

"No. He saw you in the bar and he wants you to join our crew," Weldon explained. Charlotte turned back to Reno and kicked him in the crotch.

"No, I'm not joining your crew! You're gross!" Charlotte yelled. "Plus, I have my own crew I need to get back to."

"I'll take you back to your crew and leave Reno here with his injured masculinity," Weldon said.

"Shut up, Welly-kins!" Reno yelled, grabbing his balls in pain.

"I can handle myself, thank you very much," Charlotte answered. "I come from a large crew, so they'd all try to kill you two if you did anything funny."

"Can I meet them?" Reno asked. Charlotte smirked.

"Nope! Maybe next time!" Charlotte said. "I'll see you guys around. Maybe our crews will form an alliance."

"That would be nice," Weldon said. "I'll see you around, Charlotte."

Charlotte then walked away.

"She sounds nice," Weldon said.

"Are you kidding?! She was a huge bitch!" Reno yelled.

"I would be a huge bitch too if a bunch of pirates groped me in public," Weldon said in a deadpan tone of voice.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, Reno and Weldon arrived at a small, quiet diner in a quieter area of town.<p>

"Today sucks," Reno said. "I'm hungry, sick, starting to regret the choices I made last night, and angry that Charlotte didn't join our crew."

"I'm glad you're regretting drinking an entire bottle of wine," Weldon said in a deadpan tone of voice.

"Go to Hell," Reno said. "You didn't drink any of the wine, so quit complaining."

"At least I didn't puke as soon as we stepped into a pizza place," Weldon argued.

"Anyway, what are we going to do about getting more crew members?" Reno asked. "Do we ask Charlotte again? Because she might give in if we try hard enough."

"We're not going to ask Charlotte," Weldon said sternly. "First off, who do we need on the crew?"

"Well, I'm captain, you're the first mate, and Clinton said he was going to be our shipwright. So we'll need a navigator, a chef, a doctor, cartographer, some guy or girl who's willing to sit at the steering wheel all day and drive the ship, a historian or archaeologist, a tailor, a swordsman or woman, an artist, a musician, a dancer, somebody to be in charge of the sails, somebody to be in charge of the money, somebody to be in charge of the cannons, a sniper, someone who's good with archery, a scientist or inventor, a magician, a cabin boy, and a cutesy mascot," Reno answered.

"That's twenty people, Reno. I'm not sure if the Hyderabad can fit that many people," Weldon pointed out.

"Then I'll make the Hyderabad fit twenty people. Nothing is impossible," Reno pointed out. "Clinton can help me. He knows how to fit twenty people onto a ship."

"Well, I can't argue with you on that point," Weldon pointed out. "If you want, we can start the search for a crew member back up again tomorrow morning. If we don't find anybody by noon, we'll leave Comstock Island for the next island."

"Good," Reno said, his mouth filled with dry toast. "At least I won't have a shitty hangover."

* * *

><p>An hour later, Reno and Weldon returned to the Hyderabad, but something seemed off.<p>

"I have the feeling something happened while we were gone," Weldon said as the two climbed the gangplank to the ship.

"You're just hungover," Weldon said in a deadpan tone of voice as they climbed onto the deck. On the deck, the two noticed that the door leading to the inside of the ship was wide open. "Okay, you were right. Somebody broke in."

"Why would they break in to OUR crappy ship?" Reno asked. "We have nothing on board. Nothing. Did somebody want to kill us?"

From the inside of the ship, a glass object shattered.

"No, but it sounds like they're still here," Weldon said.

* * *

><p><strong>Ending Note: <strong>Of course, Charlotte is going to come back. She's too much of a badass to be a one-off character. Plus, you'll meet her crew in a few chapters, since I'm planning on giving them their own arc because... Well, no spoilers, but they're my favorite crew I've made.

**Also, feel free to review. If not, well, it's okay too.**


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